RPI: Bodacious Beet & Barley Burgers

The Lowdown:

Oh beets. All purple and stuff. I promised myself that I wouldn't make any corny beet jokes. However, in light of MCA, I will supply a flute loop beat to read this beet post to (song here). This post, is our fourth episode of RPI. By now, hopefully everyone knows what RPI is. If not, the RPI subheading can be found on the homepage. I must admit, the two of us were a little more... how do you say it. We made a boo-boo and forgot that this week was RPI so we skipped the battle-royale and chose beets. So ladies and gentlemen, put away your white bell bottom pants (or am I the only person that has a pair?), because this is about to get messy. Not cute messy either. You're kitchen will most likely resemble a scene from Stephen King's Carrie when you're done. So obviously exercise caution when handling these babies... and don't make me beat it into you.

Although the recipe says burgers, I lied. Oh did I ever. You're plans were foiled again! Muaha! Muahahahahaha! My evil plan is coming to fruition! They were in fact sliders! The evil minions of the burger world. The devious imps set out to take over burger joints all around the world (as lightning crashes in the background). And just when you though you were safe to go out at night, the slider strikes again! Now rise my little purple minions! Rise and take over the burger world once again!

I know they aren't stylish anymore, but I don't understand why you would want one larger burger (that is static), when you can have 3 versatile little bad-ass burgers. It's true, sliders are bad-ass - just doin' what they want... all the time. They may even be a sure shot way to please your dinner guests (song here).

If you have A.D.D taste buds you'll understand my love for sliders. When constructing a slider, I always feel like the ninja turtles and their whacky pizza creations. Really, if you make slider that is less bad-ass than it should be - it just isn't like, like bodacious and stuff - it doesn't matter. It literally is three bites and you're on to the next constructed masterpiece - that's like so tubular dudes. No need for the typical two all beef patties, special sauce, sesame seed bun (I can't remember the song, but you get the picture). No need for the usual suspects is what I was getting at. So put away the French's mustard and Heinz ketchup. They are sliders and they demand fun! They even fight for their right to party (song here).

All of the beats were provided by the Beastie Boys, so I hope you enjoy their beats while preparing your beets. Without further ado, ch-check, check it out!

The Playlist:

4 local Beets, shredded

1 cup Barley, over cooked

1 Egg

1/2 cup Fine bread crumbs**

1 small Red onion, finely chopped

3 cloves Garlic, minced

2 tsp Red mustard seed, ground

1 tsp Hungarian smoked paprika

1 tsp Coriander, ground

1 tbsp Apple cider vinegar

2 tbsp Olive oil

1/4 cup Parsley, finely chopped
3 Morita peppers, finely chopped (optional)*

Salt & Pepper, to taste

*I like the smoky taste of morita peppers, but you could replace them with any hot pepper if you'd like. Or don't add a hot pepper at all, you're an adult.

**If you'd like to avoid gluten then you can substitute this for chick pea flour.

The Skinny:

1. On medium heat, heat oil and cook onions and garlic until onions become translucent then add beets and cook for another 20 minutes (or until beets become soft).
2. Add apple cider vinegar to deglaze pan and cook for 2 minutes, then add remaining ingredients (except for the egg and bread crumbs). Mix until everything congeals then remove from heat. Once the mixture has cooled down, add the egg and bread crumbs and mix thoroughly.
3. Form into patties and bake for 25 minutes at 375*. Once baked broil them on high to get them charred (about 5 minutes).
4. The beet burgers go exceptionally well with fresh basil leaves, goat cheese, and sliced tart apples.
5. If you have left over beets, you can turn them into "fries." Simply put non-stick spray on a baking sheet and cook the beet fries on 425* for 30 minutes, then broil them to crisp them up. I put crushed anise seed (not star anise, but the seeds within the star) and kosher salt on mine and they taste wonderful. 

Featured in: Spain in Iowa, Food Renegade, Chef in Training, 33 Shades of Green, Premeditated Leftovers,  Lady Behind the Curtain
Amee's Savory Dish

Stay Rad - h

Cookbook Challenge: Falafel w/ Cilantro Yogurt

The Lowdown:

This week, Kristy and I decided that we would randomly open a cookbook and cook something from that page. For one, I've always enjoyed random encounters. Yes, that is definitely open for interpretation. Secondly, I decided that drinking a two-six of double chocolate vodka while playing Mario Kart till 3 a.m. last night was a great idea. Needless to say, I'm a shadow of a man right now. Albeit, a very handsome shadow. Where does all this tie in? Oh right, I'm extremely lethargic and unable to think for myself. Therefore, why not let a cookbook tell you what to do. Thirdly, it's shopping day and I can pick up some of those odd ingredients that I don't normally have on hand.

My page, luckily enough for me, was tucked away in the meatless main courses section of the book.  Nothing a hung-over stomach can't handle.  The other options given to me by Fairchild's (2006) The Bon Appetit Cookbook pp. 258-259 were: Wild-mushroom Bread Pudding, Sweet Potatoes Topped w/ Vegetarian Black Bean Chili, and Oven-roasted Winter Vegetables w/ Rigatoni. As you can see, my options made it very simple to choose. Bread pudding? No thanks. Spicy chili? Ya, that's gunna happen. Not. Oven roasting took an entire hour. Its 6 p.m. and this is going to be my first meal, so I just couldn't wait that long. Like I said, my selection was an easy decision. Just in case anyone is wondering, I did not cheat! However, I can't speak for my counterpart. The page I got, was the page I stuck with.

This Middle Eastern meal is supposed to be quick, easy, and healthy. I did find that after refrigerating the falafel "mixture" over night they were much tastier and easier to form into patties.

The Playlist:

 (Printable Recipe: Cilantro Yogurt)

1 cup Plain yogurt (Greek preferably)

1/2 cup Cilantro, chopped

1/4 cup Onion, finely chopped

2 cloves Garlic, minced

1 tbsp Lemon juice

1/4 tsp Cayenne pepper

(Printable Recipe: Falafel)

2 14oz cans Garbanzo beans (chickpeas), drained

1/2 cup Cilantro,  finely chopped

1/2 - 1 tsp Cayenne pepper

4 cloves Garlic, minced

3/4 cup Onion, finely chopped

3 tbsp Flour

2 tsp cumin

1 Egg

1 cup Flour

1/4 cup Olive oil (for frying)

OPTIONAL:

Pita bread

Tomatoes, chopped

Lettuce, chopped

Olives, chopped

Artichoke hearts, chopped

The Skinny:

1. In a medium-sized mixing bowl, combined and mix yogurt, cilantro, onion, garlic, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper.
2. Refrigerate until needed (1 - 2 hours is recommended to allow the flavours to circulate).
3. Put the garbanzo beans, onion, cilantro, 3 tbsp flour, egg, cayenne pepper, garlic, and cumin into a large mixing bowl and mash until almost smooth.
4. Heat oil in a pan on medium-high heat (throw a piece of onion in to test heat. If it sizzles that's good).
5. Form small hamburger sized patties of the falafel mixture (1/2 to 3/4 of an inch thick).
6. Coat each patty with the remaining flour (1 cup).
7. Fry the patties on each side for 6-8 minutes.
8. Serve in a pita w/ the yogurt and any of the optional ingredients (or on its own).

H