RPI: Bodacious Beet & Barley Burgers

The Lowdown:

Oh beets. All purple and stuff. I promised myself that I wouldn't make any corny beet jokes. However, in light of MCA, I will supply a flute loop beat to read this beet post to (song here). This post, is our fourth episode of RPI. By now, hopefully everyone knows what RPI is. If not, the RPI subheading can be found on the homepage. I must admit, the two of us were a little more... how do you say it. We made a boo-boo and forgot that this week was RPI so we skipped the battle-royale and chose beets. So ladies and gentlemen, put away your white bell bottom pants (or am I the only person that has a pair?), because this is about to get messy. Not cute messy either. You're kitchen will most likely resemble a scene from Stephen King's Carrie when you're done. So obviously exercise caution when handling these babies... and don't make me beat it into you.

Although the recipe says burgers, I lied. Oh did I ever. You're plans were foiled again! Muaha! Muahahahahaha! My evil plan is coming to fruition! They were in fact sliders! The evil minions of the burger world. The devious imps set out to take over burger joints all around the world (as lightning crashes in the background). And just when you though you were safe to go out at night, the slider strikes again! Now rise my little purple minions! Rise and take over the burger world once again!

I know they aren't stylish anymore, but I don't understand why you would want one larger burger (that is static), when you can have 3 versatile little bad-ass burgers. It's true, sliders are bad-ass - just doin' what they want... all the time. They may even be a sure shot way to please your dinner guests (song here).

If you have A.D.D taste buds you'll understand my love for sliders. When constructing a slider, I always feel like the ninja turtles and their whacky pizza creations. Really, if you make slider that is less bad-ass than it should be - it just isn't like, like bodacious and stuff - it doesn't matter. It literally is three bites and you're on to the next constructed masterpiece - that's like so tubular dudes. No need for the typical two all beef patties, special sauce, sesame seed bun (I can't remember the song, but you get the picture). No need for the usual suspects is what I was getting at. So put away the French's mustard and Heinz ketchup. They are sliders and they demand fun! They even fight for their right to party (song here).

All of the beats were provided by the Beastie Boys, so I hope you enjoy their beats while preparing your beets. Without further ado, ch-check, check it out!

The Playlist:

4 local Beets, shredded

1 cup Barley, over cooked

1 Egg

1/2 cup Fine bread crumbs**

1 small Red onion, finely chopped

3 cloves Garlic, minced

2 tsp Red mustard seed, ground

1 tsp Hungarian smoked paprika

1 tsp Coriander, ground

1 tbsp Apple cider vinegar

2 tbsp Olive oil

1/4 cup Parsley, finely chopped
3 Morita peppers, finely chopped (optional)*

Salt & Pepper, to taste

*I like the smoky taste of morita peppers, but you could replace them with any hot pepper if you'd like. Or don't add a hot pepper at all, you're an adult.

**If you'd like to avoid gluten then you can substitute this for chick pea flour.

The Skinny:

1. On medium heat, heat oil and cook onions and garlic until onions become translucent then add beets and cook for another 20 minutes (or until beets become soft).
2. Add apple cider vinegar to deglaze pan and cook for 2 minutes, then add remaining ingredients (except for the egg and bread crumbs). Mix until everything congeals then remove from heat. Once the mixture has cooled down, add the egg and bread crumbs and mix thoroughly.
3. Form into patties and bake for 25 minutes at 375*. Once baked broil them on high to get them charred (about 5 minutes).
4. The beet burgers go exceptionally well with fresh basil leaves, goat cheese, and sliced tart apples.
5. If you have left over beets, you can turn them into "fries." Simply put non-stick spray on a baking sheet and cook the beet fries on 425* for 30 minutes, then broil them to crisp them up. I put crushed anise seed (not star anise, but the seeds within the star) and kosher salt on mine and they taste wonderful. 

Featured in: Spain in Iowa, Food Renegade, Chef in Training, 33 Shades of Green, Premeditated Leftovers,  Lady Behind the Curtain
Amee's Savory Dish

Stay Rad - h

Beet Medley & Quail Egg Salad w/ Honey Anise Vinaigrette

The Lowdown:

Okay, so this is meal is purely because I have been a horrible person over the last few days. I'm pretty sure in the last week I've eaten fast food at least 40 times. Not to mention, my lovely girlfriend declared that she only wanted to eat fruits and vegetables all day (Ha! That's going to happen). To make up for all that crap I've put into my body, I'm going to repent. I'm sorry father for I have sinned, please accept this healthy meal as a testament to my willingness to change my ways... temporarily.

How could this meal possibly be bad? It has more beets than Dr. Dre. Normally I hate salads. I find them boring, cold, and about as eventful as a Dilbert comic strip. How is that comic still being produced anyway? I mean seriously. The only thing funny about it is the irony that it isn't funny. 

http://search.dilbert.com/comic/Reference, 2012

Point, set, and match. This is crap. Now that I've wasted a sufficient amount of your life reading that comic strip I will resume with wasting a sufficient amount of your life reading this post. 

To recap; salad = Dilbert = boring. 

Where as, beets + quail's eggs + anise = ♥.

Just so everyone knows, I hate black licorice. However, the hint of it that this dressing has goes quite nicely with the earthy notes of the beets. Other than the pain of getting the anise seeds out of the husks (I actually just got lazy and blended the crap out of the star anise pods), this was a simple and easy recipe that offered quite a different take on the usual ways to prepare beets. The different colour beets also provide for a nice display and can add to the wow factor. It is also a great cure for the common fast food bender.

The Playlist:

(Printable Recipe)

1 Red beet

1 Golden beet

1 Candycane beet

2 Chicken breasts, cooked and thinly sliced (optional)

5-10 Quail's eggs, hard boiled

1 cube, Chicken bullion

Salt & Pepper

Olive oil

Vinaigrette

1/2 inch Leak (white part), minced

1 tsp Pepper (or more to taste)

1 tsp Kosher salt

1/8 cup Apple cider vinegar

1/8 cup Champagne berry vinegar

1/4 cup Virgin olive oil

1-2 tbsp Honey

1tsp Anise seeds, ground

The Skinny:

1.  Mix all the vinaigrette ingredients together and refrigerate until ready to be served.
2. Put the beets in separate pots and cover with water (the candycane and golden beets can go into the same pot). Add the chicken bullion to the water. Bring to a boil and cook until beets pass the "fork test" (about 45-60mins). Pour water out of pots and fill with cold water. Allow beets to cool.
3. In a small pot add quail's eggs and enough water to boil them in. Boil for 5 minutes then remove from heat, allow to sit for 5 minutes, and then pour the water out. Allow eggs to cool.
4. Skin the beets. If cooked properly you should be able to apply pressure using your thumbs and the skin will come off easily. (The beets can be done ahead of time and refrigerated).
5. Peal the shells off of the quail's eggs and cut in half lengthwise.
6. On medium heat, heat olive oil (or butter) in two large pans. Place the different colour beets in separate pans and saute until slightly browned (10-20mins).
7. Add salt and pepper to taste.
8. Put beets, chicken, and eggs together and add dressing.
9. Serve while beets are still warm.

Featured in:33 Shades of Green, Chef-in-Training, Mandy's Recipe Box,


Stay Rad - H