Thai Green Curry (Gaeng Kiaw Wan)

The Lowdown:

I'm not sure that I've ever gone out for Thai food and not ordered a variation of this dish. It always manages to catch my attention, despite my best efforts to explore the remainder of the menu. In the end, what does it matter? Get a doggy bag and take it all home for later. However, this post isn't an meant to be an ode to my favourite Thai restaurants in town. Nor is it meant to praise one of my favourite "poor me, poor me, I'm sick and need a cure" recipes (although seriously, all that garlic, ginger, and shallots is a wonderful preventative medicine). No, this post is intended for something far more devious -- playful revenge.

I feel that over this holiday season, a bit of public payback is in order. Being the perfect son that I am, I decided that my parents would probably love a break from cooking while I was in their neck of the [urban] woods. Given that I love cooking, and they were paying for the groceries, it seemed perfect. Oh god how much I miss them paying for groceries.

Winters in Toronto can be quite brisk, making a spicy Thai green curry the perfect dish to make. After braving the cold, then fighting tooth and nail in the grocery store (December 23 in a grocery store is near suicide) I came home to the question, "why didn't you just buy the packaged green curry paste?" Oh, the humility! If this wasn't enough, it was soon followed by, "if it's not good, you still have time to go to the store and buy the packaged stuff." Oh lord, please help me restrain myself. And now everyone knows the antics I must deal with.

The Playlist:

Curry Paste:
4 Serrano peppers, chopped
1 large piece Ginger, chopped
2 Shallots, chopped
3 cloves Garlic, chopped
1 bunch Cilantro, stems only
1 Lime, zest and juice
1 Lemongrass stalk, outer layer removed then chopped
1 tbsp Oyster sauce
1 tbsp Fish sauce
1 tsp Coriander, ground
1 tsp Cumin, ground
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp White pepper, ground

Ingredients:
1 lb Mussels, fresh
1/2 lb Prawns
2 cups Shitake mushrooms, coursely chopped (optional)
Vegetables, julienne (optional)
3 cups Sui choy, chopped
3 tbsp Vegetable oil
1 can Coconut milk
2 cups Chicken broth (optional)
5 Kaffir lime leaves
Thai basil leaves, to taste
Thai chili peppers, to taste
Coriander, to taste

The Skinny:

  
After trial and error, along with a helpful tip, I found that an immersion blender is the easiest way with the best results. Apparently it releases the fragrance and oils of each of the curry paste ingredients. Optimally, a stone mortar and pestle works best, but it takes much longer and I don't own one.

1. In immersion blender measuring cup (tall and thin): add lemongrass, ginger, and serrano peppers. Using immersion blender mince until a grainy paste forms. Then add shallots, garlic, and lime peels and repeat the blending process. Finally add the remaining curry paste ingredients and repeat the blending process.
2. The curry paste makes a dish for 5-7 people. Or it can be separated into two dishes for 2-3 people. The remainder of the instructions are for the smaller portion. For the larger portion you can double the ingredients or add them as you please. The paste can be refrigerated for two weeks or frozen.
3. In large wok: heat oil on medium-high heat. When oil is hot, add curry paste and cook until fragrant (about 5 minutes). This requires constant stirring so that the paste doesn't burn. Add 1/4 of the coconut milk and continue mixing until it becomes the same consistency as a thin guacamole. Reduce heat to medium-low, add the remaining coconut milk and bring back to a gentle boil. Add chicken broth and simmer for 30 - 45 minutes. 
4. Remove 2 cups of liquid and set aside.
5. To wok: If bell peppers and celery are desired add them now and cook for 5 minutes. Add Thai basil, Thai chili peppers, mushrooms, and kaffir lime leaves and remove from heat.
6. Remove curry from the wok and place in a serving dish and set aside.
7. In wok: on high heat add the liquid that was set aside and bring to a boil. Add mussels and prawns and cover. Cook until mussel shells open (about 2-3 minutes). Remove all mussels that remained shut. 
8. Add mussels, broth, and prawns to the serving dish.
9. Serve with rice and the chopped sui choy. Pouring the broth over the sui choy in individual bowls cooks it just enough so that it remains firm.

Stay Rad -h
Featured on: Premeditated Leftovers, 33 Shades of Green, Chef in Training, Food Renegade, Foodie Friday,  

 

RPI: Zesty Chorizo Calzones

The Lowdown:

This recipe idea came to me when I merely demanded to have pizza pops at my hypothetical wedding. I don't want a formal sit down dinner, so naturally servers walking around with silver trays full of pep n' bacon pizza pops would be the next logical thought. Apparently not. The idea got shot down faster than the resurgence of belly shirts. Not that it matters, regardless of her permission they will be there. Oh yes, they will be there. It's easier to beg forgiveness.

Pizza pops were a huge part of my childhood. Being young and stupid, I would come home at unreasonable hours, despite my curfew, craving something extremely unhealthy and fast. Four minutes later I was in bliss. Today, I can't justify buying them. I can't even justify thinking about buying them. One glance at the nutritional value (nutritional suicide) is enough to make any health conscious person faint. To be honest, I think even pure mayonaise is healthier.

With the above reasons, it seemed perfect that I used our RPI ingredient to make a childhood favourite. Big boy pizza pops. How could this possibly go wrong with homemade tomato sauce, fresh ingredients, homemade pizza dough, homemade hot sauce, and ranch. Heck ya that sounds awesome. On that note, why am I letting my big boy pizza pop get cold. I'll entertain you again sometime soon. Over and out.

The Playlist:

Smokey Tomato Sauce
5 Tomatoes, chopped
1 Onion, finely diced
3 cloves Garlic, finely diced
1 cup Parsley, chopped
1/2 cup Red wine
1 oz Vodka
1 tsp Liquid smoke
1 tsp Cayenne pepper
2 tbsp Olive oil
Salt & pepper, to taste

Pizza Dough
1.5 tbsp Yeast
2 cups Water, warm
1 tbsp Organic cane sugar
4 cups Flour
4 tbsp Olive oil
2 tsp Salt

Fillings
5 Chorizo sausages, casing removed
1 Onion, chopped
1 Yellow bell pepper, chopped
2 Banana peppers, chopped
1 cup Shitake mushrooms, chopped

The Skinny:

1. In measuring cup: add water, sugar, and yeast. Allow to prime for 10 minutes, then in a large mixing bowl, add yeast water and remaining dough ingredients. Mix dough until a solid ball is formed and there is no remaining loose flour. Cover with a warm moist towel and allow to rise for 1 hour.
2. In saucepan: heat oil over med-high heat then add garlic and onions and cook until brown. Add remaining smokey tomato sauce ingredients, cover, and allow to simmer for 30 minutes. Once the tomatoes are fully cooked, use and immersion blender or food processor to puree the sauce. If desired, cook off any remaining liquid to get the desired consistency.
3. Preheat oven to 350*.
4. In frying pan: cook chorizo sausages on medium heat. Once nearly cooked, add the peppers and cook for another 5 minutes.
5. On well floured surface: separate the dough into desired size balls. Using a rolling pin, or a bottle of wine, roll out until the dough is 3 mm thick.
6. Add the smokey tomato sauce and fillings onto the flattened, pizza-shaped, dough. Fold over the dough then using a fork or your fingers seal the edges.
7. Brush with olive oil, then bake for 25-30 minutes.

Featured on:Premeditated Leftovers, 33 Shades of Green, Food Renegade, Chef in Training,

Stay Rad -h

Citrus-Habanero Hot Sauce

The Lowdown:

I just returned from a lovely trip with my family from the Dominican Republic. It was great; however, the trip lacked one thing (other than a direct flight home without a million hours of lay overs), and that was food with a kick to it. I often forget that when I don't cook for myself, I don't get what I want. I'm a very craving-based person. I guess you could say that I'm the male version of a pregnant lady. I want what I want, and I want it now. What I want now, is some freakin' spicy food. Not spicy like, "I put this shit on everything." Spicy like, "I just shit on everything." I want sweat to form under my eyes. If any of you are into spicy food, you know that when your eyes sweat it's the real deal. I understand that the scoville scale describes heat levels in a scientific manner, however the under eye sweats (UES) were around way before anyone fathomed that scale. The scale is below for those of you who'd like to readjust the spiciness of the hot sauce.

cookthink.com (2012)

I suppose my cravings for spicy food started with my father. Bless his heart. It's nice going into any variety of ethnic restaurants and saying, "bring it bitches, I got what it takes." When I was a child, my father prepared several meals loosely based on dishes from one of Chef Paul Prudhomme's cookbooks. Of course, I complained about the heat back then, like any child that was good at annoying the hell out of their parents would. That is, until the timer was put on. Oh yes, the timer. It was my arch nemesis for many a year. The rule was simple: finish what you served yourself. If you didn't, the consequence was simple: a timer was set to finish your food, and if you didn't do it in the allotted time your food was doubled. I'm sure they did this out of pure torture so they could laugh about it in future years. But, it worked. Oh did it ever work. To be honest, it may be one the sole reason that I'm much more adventurous with my food now. I digressed. The point was that I was exposed to UES from a very young age, and I'm now at the point where I need a good UES every so often.

One point to make! Cut the onions before you handle your peppers! I've had habanero in my eye before and it is about the same pain as getting your balls run over by Optimus Prime. If you'd feel safer, or are particularly injury prone please wear gloves and don't wear contacts. Shit, if you still have your chemistry safety goggles I suggest you wear those. Habaneros are nasty little things and you'll regret your life if you screw up.

 

This all started when I looked at the ingredients on the back of one of my hot sauces. There was literally six ingredients, two of which were words that clearly weren't natural. Instead, they were man-made crap. Well six ingredients soon turned into 13 to add some flavour, so that when this is all said and done, it should be about 25,000 - 50,000 scovilles. So here begins another culinary escapade.Without further ado, I'm going to make a UES worthy citrus - habanero - total - destruction - mouth - numbing - ass - burning - under - eye - sweating hot sauce. Take that timer, who's the bitch now?! Apparently revenge is best served... HOT!

The Playlist:

13 Habanero peppers, stems removed

6 Morita peppers (slightly smoked red jalapenos)**

1 Orange, zested and juiced

1 large Carrot, chopped

1 medium Red onion, chopped

3 cloves Garlic, chopped
2 tsp Salt

1 tbsp Spanish paprika (for colouring)**

1 1/4 cup Lime juice

1 cup Apple cider vinegar (unfermented)*

3/4 cup Champagne berry vinegar*

1/2 cup Canola/Vegetable oil

1 cup Water

* I chose to use these for their distinct flavours, but you can substitute for white vinegar.

** Optional ingredients. I chose the morita peppers to add a distinct smoky flavour and the paprika is solely to add a nice red colouring without adding any flavour.

The Skinny:

1. Add all ingredients into a sauce pan except for the oil, paprika, orange juice, and habanero peppers. Cover with a tight fitting lid and bring to a boil. Lower the heat to medium-low and allow to simmer for 30 minutes.
2. Remove from heat and allow enough time to cool.
3. If you desire a liquid hot sauce like Frank's, then strain the liquid into a blender and add the whole habanero peppers, orange juice, oil, and paprika. Blend for 2-3 minutes until mixture is smooth with no chunks.
   
   If you desire a less spicy, but more flavourful hot sauce combined the contents of the pot with the remaining ingredients and blend all together. This will create a more viscous hot sauce. As previously stated, it is substantially less spicy, but more flavourful.
4. Put into glass jars and refrigerate. The sauce will become spicier over time, so be patient if it isn't quite up to snuff.

 Stay rad - h

Featured in: Mandy's Recipe Box 33 Shades of Green Chef in Training Food Renegade  Premeditated Leftovers