Balls in My Mouth (Swedish Meatballs)

...do ball and nut jokes ever get old?

Don't answer that. It's likely. But I still giggle every time. 

Something else that makes me giggle? Actually putting meatballs in my mouth. Not because it's hilarious but because it makes my little mouth do back flips.

I love me a good meatball.

If they're on the menu, you can sure as heck bet your right arm I'm going to order them. Unfortunately, restauranteurs often fuck it up. They lack that lovin' feeling and extra touch that makes a truly great meatball. It isn't just about balls of meat. It's a science, nay an art, you know.

There are various secrets to creating a great fucking meatball. One, it's all about the meat. Obviously. Grass fed beef. Very important. Also, don't be afraid to mix genres. My meatballs almost always contain a mixture of beef, veal (still beef, but baby beef - make sure to ask your butcher how the calves were treated - they need to roam free), and pork. That way you make sure you get a good level of fat, of sweetness and of course, beefiness. 

Also, the breadcrumbs. You can get white, multi-grain, whole wheat, fine, coarse, panko, seasoned, herbed, store bought, home-made and even rainbow with bits of unicorn thrown in...Okay, that last one might not be true. Choose something light and fluffy - I often go for panko. They're airy and sop up a lot of moisture. 

Flavor Profiles and Herbs. In the breadcrumbs or aside. Herb that shit up. Parsley is nice. Thyme. Rosemary. Roast some garlic in the oven with olive oil and chopped thyme and then toss that into the mix. Finely dice half an onion and even caramelize it if you feel so inclined. Blue cheese isn't a bad idea either. Maybe a bit of chopped apple? Worcestershire sauce is a MUST. And of course, lemon zest is never a bad thing.

 

Use a good quality egg(s) to bind everything together. I insist upon pastured eggs. Their whites (the binding agent) are far superior in quality and content and work much better than crappy store bought ones. The same goes for the yolks - good yolk = good flavor and richness.

And of course, last but certainly not least - season the shit out of that mixture. Salt and pepper are our friends, my friends. 

Side note: I usually roll my balls in flour before frying in a pan to brown. It helps hold them together and creates a fabulous outer texture for the finished product.

...And that's just off the top of my head.

Point is: Show your meatballs some love. They'll thank you for it. Or at least your guests will. 

Side note: Don't be put off by the ingredient list - it seems long but comes together very quickly.

Swedish Meatballs
(printable recipe) - serves 4.

Ingredients for Balls:

3/4 Lb. Pastured Pork.
3/4 Lb. Pastured Beef.
2 Medium Sized Pastured eggs.
1 Small Onion, peeled & finely diced.
2 Cloves of Garlic, peeled & minced.
Dash of All Spice.
Dash of Ground Nutmeg.
1 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Italian Flat-Leaf Parsley.
2 Tsp Worcestershire Sauce.
1/2 C Panko Crumbs.
Coarse Sea Salt & Fresh Cracked Black Pepper.

2 C Flour.
2 Tbsp Butter, unsalted.
Extra Chopped Parsley to Garnish.

Ingredients for Sauce:

2 C Beef of Chicken Stock.
1/2 C Sour Cream.
3/4 C Heavy Cream.
2 Tbsp of Flour.
2 Tbsp Butter, unsalted.
Coarse Sea Salt & Fresh Cracked Black Pepper.

What to Do:

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, a large plate or baking dish with some paper towel and fill a shallow bowl with the flour. Set aside.

In a large bowl, combine all the ingredients for the balls save for the flour, butter and garnish parsley. You may need to add more panko if your meat has a lot of moisture. Once it is all worked in, firm yet still moist, roll into 1-2" balls and set prepared baking sheet.

Gently roll each ball in the bowl of flour, shake off excess, and return to prepared baking sheet.

Place a large frying pan over medium heat. Add 1 Tbsp of butter and melt until sizzling. Gently drop some of the balls into the frying pan and shake well until the flour coating the balls is moist. Don't over-crowd the pan or you'll end up with steamed balls rather than browned balls. Allow the balls to cook through and get a nice dark color on the outside - approximately 7 minutes in the pan. Once cooked, remove from the pan and place on paper lined dish. Repeat until all the balls have cooked through.

Set aside. 

Now make your sauce. In that same pan, Toss in the last 2 Tbsp of butter and allow to sizzle. Stir in 2 Tbsp of flour and heat until fragrant and it starts to change colour. Remove from the heat and gently pour in stock. Return to heat, making sure to get all the brown bits off the bottom of the pan and stir constantly until thickened. Add the cream and sour cream and season well to taste. Gently spoon the balls back into the pan, heat through and serve with a generous helping of the garnish parsley on top.

Eat.

What are your secret ingredients?

Too Hot to Trot Trio

The Lowdown:

Pain is inevitable. We learn this from a young age when our parents temporarily ruined our lives by taking away our favourite toy. The kid would then storm off saying something along the lines of, "you'll never understand me!" This was followed by one to three door slams, depending on how brave the particular child was. After this, the pouting phase occurs, which can last up to an astonishing three weeks. Funny how kids can't keep a train of thought going in school for more than three seconds, but they can hold a grudge for three months when their Pokemon game is taken away. Ahem, pain is inevitable was the point.

But what about those times when you want to inflict pain on yourself? I'm not talking about leather whips, ball gags, or hot wax either. I'm sure if you're into that, you can find a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm talking about the real hot stuff. Meow (that sounded sexier in my head than typed out). I'm talking about heat. Spicy is the spice of life, after all.

After writing for nearly a year, I thought I'd confess my love for spiciness (again). That, and I thought it should be known that hot sauces are all relatively simple to make. Every recipe I browsed contained the same base ingredients: vinegar, salt, hot peppers. Of course, this was only the base and the rest was left up to creativity. Bring it on cold, miserable winter.

The Playlist:

Very Verdi Hot Sauce
15 Cherry bomb peppers (green), de-stemmed & halved
1 cup White wine vinegar
1 cup White vinegar
1/2 cup Lime juice
1/4 cup Cilantro
1 tsp Basil, dried
1 tsp Dill, dried
1 tsp White pepper
2 tsp Garlic powder
1 tsp Onion powder
2 tbsp Salt
3 dashes Green food colouring (optional)


Red-Hot Hot Sauce
50 Thai chili peppers, de-stemmed
1 cup Red wine vinegar
1 cup White vinegar
1 cup Water
2 tbsp Salt
5-10 dashes, Liquid smoke



Mellow Yellow Hot Sauce 
4 Banana peppers, de-stemmed
1 cup Champagne berry vinegar
1/2 cup White vinegar
1 cup water
1/2 cup Lime juice

3 Cardamom pods
2 tsp Turmeric
1 tsp Corriander seed, ground
2 tsp Garlic powder

The Skinny:

1. In medium sauce pan: add all of the ingredients, cover, and bring to a boil. Turn down the heat and simmer for 20 - 30 minutes.
2. OPTIONAL: you can cook half of the peppers, then add the remaining peppers in the blending process to get a more vibrant flavour, spice, and colour.
3. Allow to cool, remove the cinnamon stick/cardamom pods, add the uncooked peppers (if done the optional way), then puree in a blender. If desired you can strain so the seeds are not in the sauce.

Featured on: Premeditated Leftovers, 33 Shades of Green, Chef in Training, Food Renegade, 

Stay Rad -h

Rippin Another Blog: Chocolate Covered Bananas Wrapped in Walnuts

Good morning dear readers!

Can you believe I'm still eating sweets?? 

I can. It seems to me that we crave what we eat. If you're in the habit of munching on salt, you want salt. If you tend to lean toward green, you want veggies. Meat eaters like their meat. And sweet eaters like their sweet. 

Christmas made a sweet eater out of me. And while I'm definitely on the road to vegetables again, I still crave a treat. 

This snack was about as split as banana can be. Well, except for the ice cream and candy sprinkles. But it was half fruit, half sweet. And I'm good with that. Throw in the nuts and you've got yourself one tasty, happy fat rich snack.

The recipe comes from The Joyful Table. A blog by a woman named Noelle who reaches out and touches my little heart soul. Not literally. Ouch. But figuratively - she's all about finding joy in the cherished moments around her kitchen table. That's my kinda scene. And while she touts this recipe as "embarassingly simple" - it's the simple things that make a dish worth eating. 

Thank you Noelle - I needed this today. Or at least my mouth did.

Chocolate Covered Bananas Wrapped in Walnuts

(printable recipe) - Serves 4.

Ingredients:

2 Bananas, with the peels just a little green still.

1 C Good Quality Dark Chocolate, roughly chopped.

1 C Roasted Walnuts, roughly chopped.

4 Wooden Skewers.

What to Do:

Peel the bananas and slice them in half lengthwise. Impale them on the skewers and place on a parchment paper lined plate. Place in the freezer for 30 minutes while you get the rest of the ingredients ready.

Get the rest of the ingredients ready...

Dump the chocolate pieces into a double boiler (a pot with 2 inches of water and a glass bowl that fits over top works well - make sure the water doesn't hit the bowl).  Heat the water to a boil over medium heat, stirring the chocolate constantly to ensure it doesn't burn. Once melted and hot, remove from heat.

Place the walnuts in a large shallow bowl. Set aside.

Remove the bananas from the freezer and dredge in the chocolate and then the nuts.

Place back on parchment paper and place in the fridge for 30 - 60 minutes or until chocolate hardens.

Eat. 

What are your go-to desserts? Are you still stuck on the holiday sweet train? Choo choo!

Rippin' Another Blog: Ox Tail Soup

The Lowdown:

As a kid I always wondered what ox tail soup was. Using an actual ox tail seemed more like a tall tale. Of course, now I've realized that ox tail soup is actually made of ox tails. A suiting name I suppose. Really, what else could you call a soup that is made of ox tail other than ox tail soup?

Up until now, I've passed by ox tails everytime I went to the grocery store since time began. Of course time began approximately 10 years ago. I'm going to refer to this era as PP, or the post-parental era. It was the beginning of this era when I started figuring out that grocery shopping wasn't as much fun as it used to be. When you were young, you could sneak whatever you wanted into the cart. This of course was assuming you were sly enough to avoid detection. The only consequence was that pseudo feeling of guilt when you got busted at the checkout line. But in all seriousness, who could blame us? Count Chocula was in fact a food group back then. Well, maybe not for me. I was forced to eat Harvest Crunch because it had less sugar.

The years from 0 PP to 5 PP were tough years. Learning the ropes in the grocery store was a new skill that I had to acquire... Budgeting. Damn you budgeting! They were tough lessons indeed. I mean really, how much Mr. Noodle can you eat before your sick of it. Actually, I still love it, but still. However, things have changed for the better, and now during 9 PP I am finally going to tackle ox tail soup. Well, perhaps it took Noelle from The Joyful Table to teach this not so ol' dog a new trick.

The Playlist:

1 kg Ox tails

2 cups Red wine

2 Onions, quartered

3 stalks Celery, chopped

3 Carrots, chopped

2 tbsp Salt

3-5 Bay leaves

Pepper, to taste

Water

1/2 cup Barley (optional)

The Skinny:

1. Add all the ingredients, except barley, into a large pot and cover with enough water to fully submerge all the ingredients, then some. Cover and bring to a boil. Once boiling lower heat and simmer for 6-8 hours.
2. Remove from heat and allow to cool. Once cooled, skim the layer of fat off of the surface then strain, saving the liquid broth and the ox tails. If desired, you may remove the meat from the ox tail bones. If not, put the ox tails back into the broth.
3. Add barley and reheat. Simmer until barley is cooked. Serve warm. 

Stay Rad -h
Featured on: Premeditated Leftovers, 33 Shades of Green, Chef in Training, Food Renegade, 

New Years Highlights (Part 2)

Top 'o the mornin' to ya, sugar tops!

As Haydn said last post, we're taking the New Year as an opportunity to round up our favorite posts from 2012. And not only is it the new year but almost our 1 year blogiversary - we're managed to post (relatively) regularly for 52 weeks. Word up, brah. So a round up seems fitting, yes?

My favorite part of the blog by far - aside from harassing Haydn about deadlines and organizing posts - are the Rock Paper Ingredient (RPI) challenges. I love selecting an ingredient and discovering how Haydn and I each spin it. Maybe it's time to open that shit up to more people?.....what do you think? More RPI? More people?

In order of appearance, let the countdown begin...

 

12. RPI Mission Mango: Mango 2 Ways - Firely Lime Sauce & Tempura Sliced Mango

11. RPI Mission Endive: Endive "Cup" Risotto Balls with Cup Salad

10. Poached Egg Over Creamy Polenta (with Mushrooms, Blue Cheese & Pistachios)

9.  RPI Mission Fava Bean: Habas con Jamon with Seared Tuna

8. Ya Need a Date Stud? (aka bacon wrapped dates with marcona almonds)

7. RPI Bourbon: Bourbon with a Side of Bourbon - The Old Fashioned with Bourbon Soaked Cherries

6. Pickled Fennel with Orange

5. RPI Mission Pistachios: Chocolate Cake with Pulverized Pistachios and Espresso Icing

4. A Mini-Break (not the best post...but the only one for this month). I was moving across the world, as Haydn says. Reality: across the country. Sometimes it feels like the world though.

 

3. A Little More "About Us".

2. RPI Maple Syrup: Christmas Caucasion

1. Scalloped Potatoes

Happy New Years my friends! What are you looking forward to this year?

New Years Highlights

The Lowdown:

Homemade Naan

Being the first post of the new year, Kristy and I thought it would be fun to highlight our past year. I know, super original and all that jazz. Regardless of the lack of originality we're doing it anyway, because we're just like that (insert 90's hip-hop pose). It has been an interesting year in terms of culinary experiences, and although it may be a boring post, I am too lazy to make food after the holidays. In other words, deal with it (or don't you're an adult).

For starters, my new years lie (resolution) is, and has been for the last 6 years, to try new things. It's ambiguous, fail proof, and encourages you to be a bit more daring. Daring in the sense of trying a different entree at your favourite restaurant, not in the sense of jumping off a roof with a cape around your neck. 

To encourage this, a group of friends and I have started going to a new restaurant every Friday to try out different cuisines or different renditions on the classics. That has brought forward the flavours of Chinese, Malaysian, Japanese, American, Tapas, Polish, and German cuisines. Not to mention beer. A whole lot of beer. 

Pistachio Crusted Schnitzel w/ Beet Cherry Chutney

I tried my first octopus this year, which I loved a lot more than I thought I would. I smoked food for the first time. Made homemade bread for the first time. Tried a maple syrup donut beer. Tried bacon vodka. Experienced my first two day hangover (for the love of everything holy, that's the first sign of getting old... or stupid). Tried ox tail for the first time. To sum it up, this blog has inspired me to break my habits and really explore the world of food and beverage. Well, I was doing it on my own prior to this blog; however, seeing as I am writing this post I will simply say it is all because of the blog.

I'm not sure how we are supposed to be doing this post, as Kristy and I have resorted to talking via text messages, but from what I gathered we are putting up a list of our favourite posts throughout the year.

Bodacious Beet & Barley Burgers

The Playlist:

1. I'd say all in all, my favourite post of the year was the Bodacious Beet & Barley Burgers. They are mind-blowingly healthy, fairly easy to make (other than the dyed hands), and packed a wallop of flavour. Add goat cheese and sliced apple to that mix and you may consider going vegetarian (just kidding). What's better is that you don't feel bad about cooking them on a cast iron skillet (damn you BBQ haters on my strata council).
2. Although it's not a recipe, my second favourite post(s) has been all of the RPIs. It is an extremely fun and creative way to try new ingredients. It has also been a way to alter childhood classics into something a bit more acceptable (ps. dipping grilled cheese sandwiches into chocolate milk will never be acceptable).
3. My favourite drink (cocktail) post is of course, the Happy John (Orange Boston Sour). The story still makes me laugh to myself from time to time. That, of course, is secondary to the fact that I actually really enjoy the drink. It makes me feel so sophisticated, suave, and intelligent. So pretty much, everything I'm not.
4. This blog has helped to enforce that Kristy and I stay in somewhat regular contact with each other. As many of you know she moved across the world, so this helps tie us together. Sentimental, yes; but it is one of the main reasons that I wanted to continue this blog throughout the new year. 
5. Finally, I'd like to thank every individual person and guest that read, tried out our recipes, pinned (whatever that is), helped promote, commented, or featured our recipes on their site. You're all pretty darn awesome in my mind. Cheers to a new year full of bad jokes, mediocre food, and bickering.

The Happy John (Orange Boston Sour)

Scalloped Potatoes

There are few things I love more than potatoes. I think that's the Albertan in me. I have a special fondness in my little heart for those bad boys.

It's been a long time since I've lived in Calgary, Alberta. In that time I've developed a raging affinity for other foods: pasta, polenta, homemade tomato sauce, chicken liver pate, cheese, wine. In fact, I often think my food-soul is Italian. 

And I have mostly managed to shake a lot of the Albertanisms that make me think of it as "little Texas" - big money, greed, Budweiser, big oil guzzling trucks, saying "get 'er done". Not that there is anything wrong with Alberta or Texas in and of themselves - I'm just a little more West coast than that. Or as the people I work with often refer to me, a little more social-communist. And I'm okay with that. I like shopping vintage thrift and up-cycling material goods. Smart cars are an excellent way to get around the city. And sauntering from one place to another, taking time to smell the flowers and breathe the air and watch the birds and lay on the beach all while being protected by universal medicine is A-okay with me.

But try as I might - potatoes linger both in my mind and judging by the popularity of the Paleo diet, my hips too, apparently.  Smother 'em in cheesy, creamy goodness and I've got the best of all worlds.

So while Italian may be my food-soul, potatoes are my soul-food. They remind me that I stem from a meat and potatoes kinda place. Filled with big trucks, oil money and bad beer. So I hold them dear and close to my heart. That and country music.

Scalloped Potatoes

(printable recipe) - serves 4.

Ingredients:

Approx 3 Lb (6 medium sized) Yukon gold Potatoes, sliced very thinly (use a mandolin on thinnest setting).

1 Onion, peeled & sliced very thinly in the same way as the potatoes.

2 Garlic Cloves, minced.

1 or 2 Sprigs of Fresh Thyme.

1 Bay Leaf.

2 1/2 C 2% Milk or Cream.

2 Tbsp Butter.

2 Tbsp Flour.

Pinch of Nutmeg.

1 1/2 C Gruyere Cheese, grated.

1/2 C Parmesan Cheese, grated.

Coarse Sea Salt & Fresh Cracked Black Pepper.

What to Do:

Pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees F & lightly grease a 9 X 9" baking dish.

Heat a medium sized saucepan over medium heat. Add the butter and melt until sizzling - add the flour and stir constantly until fragrant and just starting to change color. Remove from the heat and add the milk, stirring to ensure it doesn't curdle. Add the garlic, thyme, bay leaf, nutmeg and a generous helping of salt and pepper. Place back on heat and stir stir stir until the milk thickens. Remove from the heat and discard what's left of the thyme stem.

Ladle a little of the liquid into the prepared baking dish, followed by closely layered slices of potatoes so they overlap. Top with some of the grated Gruyere and another ladle full of the milk mixture. Repeat until the dish is full with 1/2" of headroom - you should end up with 3 - 4 layers of potatoes, finishing with the Parmesan cheese.

Cover with tin foil and place in the oven to bake for 50 - 60 minutes. Remove the cover and continue cooking for a further 10 minutes or until cheese on top is bubbly and golden.

Remove from the oven and let sit for a few minutes before cutting into. 

Eat.

What's your background? What foods or lifestyle choices do you hold close to your heart? What makes you who you are? What do you hang on to? What do you let go of? Are there any other country fans in the house?

Korma Curry Paste

The Lowdown:

Curries are just one of those things that I feel everyone should love. They are full of flavour, extremely versatile, aromatic, and healthy. I'm not claiming to be a curry guru by any means. Maybe just a huge fan that's a borderline stalker. It may be the fact that they are extremely versatile. It may be the aroma that they emit as they slowly simmer. It may be the "set it and forget it" mentality. It may be the inferno from the hot peppers. It may be childhood nostalgia (there were a lot of Indian meals growing up). Or it may even be the ease of making a large batch and freezing it. What ever it is, I adore them.

This variety of curry is a product of Moghul influence in the geographic regions now known as India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh. The word "korma" essentially just means to braise (low and slow baby, low and slow). They are generally milder and sweeter, as opposed to fiery. The addition of nuts and coconut milk make this curry a truly interesting meal.

Curries are often one of those things that annoy me the most in blogging. I absolutely hate it when you click on a blog recipe and one of the ingredients is a packaged curry paste. Using a store bought curry paste in a recipe is like calling a photo of a painting the real deal. Chances are, if you're simply just writing down the instructions from the back of the package it's not worth your time to write (or our time to read). It's rubbish. It makes me so upset that I'm being forced to use British slang. So, if you're stuck in a rut and want a make-ahead meal plan, a homemade curry paste is an excellent way to go.

On a final note, this batch of paste (noted in the photos) is green because I had spinach that was on its last legs. Not wanting to waste it, I ground it into the curry paste. I'm not sure about the legalities of this, but the flavour was excellent.

The Playlist:

3 tbsp Cumin seed, toasted then ground
2 tbsp Turmeric
1 tbsp Coriander seed, ground
1/2 cup Cilantro, loosely chopped
1/4 cup Ginger, pealed & loosely chopped
6 Chili peppers
5 cloves Garlic
1/4 cup Desiccated coconut (dried and flaked)
3 tbsp Garam masala
1/2 cup Cashews, ground
1 cup Vegetable oil (canola)
Pepper, generous amount

The Skinny:

1. Put the oil, turmeric, cumin, coriander, cilantro, ginger, garlic, tomatoes, garam masala, and pepper into a blender and blend until an oily paste is formed. 
2. Once a paste consistency is formed slowly add the coconut and cashews. If the blender is labouring too much, you can manually mix these in.
3. Put 1 cup servings into individual containers and refrigerate for 2-3 days before using. The individual servings that are not used can be frozen (just make sure you don't microwave them to thaw). 
4. The paste highly concentrated, so I mix 1 cup of the paste with 2-4 cups of broth depending on the desired consistency and what is going into the curry. No oil in the pan is needed, as there is enough in the paste itself.

Stay Rad -h
Featured on: Premeditated Leftovers, 33 Shades of Green, Chef in Training, Food Renegade, 

RPI Eggs: Super Simple Poached Egg Sunday Breakfast

Happy Thursday darlings!

The best part of my day? I logged into Blogger, checked the blog's stats for the day, and opened up my draft for RPI Mission Eggs... I was greeted by this:

Jingle bells, batman smells, Robin laid an egg.

Batmobile lost a wheel and Joker got away.

Oh the joy of sharing a blog with a close friend who you wished lived closer. I've heard this song eight million times and was always kind of annoyed by it. Until now. Now it's the endearing gentle message my dear friend Haydn left me in my draft copy of RPI Eggs - a small but significant message that he hopelessly misses me. I miss you too, Haydn. Stupid, giant, Canadian country.

Something else that is dear to my heart? Eggs. Particularly, super simple Sunday breakfast eggs. When we established eggs as our Rock, Paper, ingredient mission this month, my mind immediately started digging into the various culinary fascinations of eggs - custards, cakes, aioli, souffle, blah blah blah. Ultimately, I chose to showcase the true nature of the protein powerhouse known as the egg. And stayed true to chicken.

Small side note: Duck eggs scare the squeezebox outta me. Much too large. Much. too. large. Pretty much anything that is larger in size than the average/normal freaks me out.

All you need for this recipe: eggs, bread, left over veggies. Maybe a little cheese. Golden. 

Super Simple Poached Egg Breakfast

(printable recipe) - serves 2.

Ingredients:

4 Pastured Eggs.

1 Tsp Vinegar.

1 Bunch Kale or Chard.

1/3 C Chicken or Veggie Stock.

Leftover Roasted Winter Veg.

2 Pieces Baguette or Sourdough Loaf, cut on an angle.

2 Shavings of Salty Grainy Cheese (ie Grana Padano, Parmesan, Pecorino Romano)

Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

Coarse Sea Salt & Fresh Cracked Black Pepper.

What to Do:

Pre-heat your oven to a high broil. Once hot, place sliced bread on a baking sheet, brushed lightly with olive oil, and slide under heat. Broil until golden. Remove from oven and lay the cheese on warm toast. Set aside.

Turn the oven down to 400 degrees F. Re-heat winter veg in oven until hot. 

Heat 2 Tbsp of oil over medium heat in a large saute pan. Once hot, throw in the greens, season well with salt and pepper and stir well to coat. Add the stock and while stirring often, allow the greens to cook through and the stock to evaporate.

To poach eggs: Bring a deep saute pan of salted water to a light boil over medium-high heat. Once the water starts to bubble, add vinegar. Crack eggs into individual bowls and gently slide into the semi-boiling water. Using a slotted spoon, corral the whites around the yolks to help them keep their shape. Cook for about 3-4 minutes or until the egg whites are cooked through and the yolks runny. Remove from water and gently place eggs on top of cheesy toast.

Throw it all on a plate and chow down my friends, chow down.

Yes - eat.

How do your friends let you know they love you? How do you show you love them?

RPI: Egg - The Happy John

The Lowdown:

Every cocktail seems to have a story. Perhaps, it put the tale in cocktail. In that case, a storyless beverage would be a... well, let's just leave that up to your imagination. This cocktail is no different. Although it may not have the disputable history of the Old Fashioned, it always makes me laugh when I order it. Perhaps snicker, laugh seems to be a bit too out there.

This story begins when we were young enough to sneak spiced rum into the late night showing of the horror-movie-du-jour. Okay,I'm not going to lie I still think it's fun. Everyone would then get their favourite pop to mix. Simple enough. That is until you order Orange Crush. You then sit down, add the two flavours up in your head, and realize that you may have to endure the grossest drink ever. Wrong! It's actually amazing.

Fast forward two years. We are all sitting at our favourite BBQ joint, when I notice that they have Orange Crush and spiced whiskey. Eureka, an instant classic. Until I was smited by the bartender and my fellow friends that is. Apparently whiskey and orange soda is some form of faux-pas in the realm of beverages. Once again I endured.

Fast forward a couple of months. The setting: the same BBQ joint, rainy night, approximately 7*c, gentle northeasterly breeze, 8:30pm PST. Everyone is sitting at the table with their drink of choice, the Happy John. The components, as you may have guessed, are orange soda and spiced whiskey. But where is the irony you say? It lies in the fact that in my absence the drink was now named after the person whom originally ostracized me for ordering it all those months ago.

Oh the humanity! The humility! Now, locked away in my attic, I have been burning the midnight oil to recreate this untold masterpiece to get my own form of justice; the Happy John v.2.0 (which is essentially a modified Boston Sour). Remove the redneck, add a touch of class, and recreate a classic. And just like that, I get my silent revenge (not to mention a delicious cocktail in front of me and my RPI: Egg post completed).

The Playlist:

The Happy John
2 oz Spiced Whiskey
1/2 - 1 oz Simple syrup (depending how sweet oranges are)
1 Egg white
1/2 Naval orange, juiced

Orange Simple Syrup
3 cups Water
2 Oranges, peels only
5 Allspice berries
Sugar 

The Skinny:

1. In small pot: combined water, orange peels, and allspice berries. Cover and bring to a boil over high heat. Once boiling reduce the heat to low, uncover, and allow to simmer for 30 minutes.
2. Strain contents of the pot, keeping only the orange liquid. Using a measuring cup, make a 1:1 ratio of sugar to orange liquid. Put this mixture back into the pot and heat until sugar is fully disolved. Remove from heat and allow to cool.
3. In ice-free martini shaker: combined cocktail ingredients and shake vigerously. Strain into an ice filled glass. Garnish as desired.
4. Enjoy. 

Stay Rad -h
Featured on: Premeditated Leftovers, 33 Shades of Green, Chef in Training, Food Renegade,